Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Middle Of The Night Thoughts.

It is 2:53 am and I just can not sleep. Today was a really off day with my recovery and it seems like it is going to be a long night. I just took some pain meds and was laying here thinking. I have done a lot of that lately. I decided to log on real quick to check in with all of you...my wonderful friends. But wanna know something...I just do not know what to say. I feel so much in my heart and yet I am numb when it comes to what words to say. Maybe it is because I THINK I am suppose to act a certain way or be super strong or not say this or that. I know no one expects anything from me...It is me. It is me trying to my find my way. It is me trying to grasp that I am sick and have a long path ahead. It is me feeling not too strong tonight. Heck maybe it is me just not feeling so great in the middle of the night.
As so many of you have seen I am blessed with a wonderful husband who has been very supportive and loving. I know he knows this...but I have loved him for 21 years and I hope we get at least 21 more. He has been really strong for me the past week. Tonight was a little hard for us as a couple. He is frustrated with how slow things are going, of how the path is being sent off to NY for some follow up testing, for the idea that we do not have a nice little package of treatment plans and info and when and what and why. And in truth..I guess him being frustrated made me feel like I was responsible somehow. I know I am not...but in all this it is too easy to feel alone or unable to connect. Tonight was one of those nights. So I hope we learn from that and can learn to both work through the frustrations. I think the idea that this was the first time of me feeling like he was distant was hard for me. I KNOW he is going through a lot...and I wanted his feelings to be all nice and wrapped in a package..funny how we both want the nice packages..huh? But Life is not about that....I learned that a long time ago with Philip.
Please know I am not complaining about things..I am just putting it out here..so one day I can look back and see how far Jim and I have grown from all of this...
I also want to let all of you know how much your support means to me. These words seem like just words. The emotion behind them is overwhelming to me. I have felt loved and supported like I have never felt before. That is what YOU have done for me. How will I ever thank you? I will just have to play it forward to someone else in need. You all are a great example to follow.
I need to try to go to sleep. It is hard to type on the computer with my neck. But I missed talking with all of you. I will end this with the disclaimer that I am on very strong pain meds..so if I rambled...just know there will be more of it over the next few weeks of healing.
Love ya'll

117 comments:

Grace said...

Hugs for you my dear friend.

April said...

Dear Amy,

We have never met, but I am so inspired by your strength and committment to family. You may, indeed, have a long road ahead of you, but there is not a single doubt in my mind that you CAN conquer anything you're faced with! Just remember...ALL things are possible with God!!!

I think it's very common for couples who are going through challenges, like you and Jim, to feel periods of disconnect. Emotions sometimes get the best of people. However, don't let that cloud your way...you have each to lean on and you so desperately need one another! Cling to each other AND to God!!! I know you and Jim will look back on this one day and, as you said, see just how far you've come...TOGETHER!

God Bless You, Amy. I will continue to pray for you and your family. You are strong and I know that God has wonderful things planned for you. TRUST HIM and KEEP THE FAITH!!!

Lisa said...

I have been praying for you Amy, I am so sorry for your sickness and what you must endure. I know that we serve a loving God and Amy believe He is there with you right now, next to you as you read your comments. He loves you and does not want you to fear
My parents are ill right now and a song that got my though a lot of grief was called the Voice of Truth by Casting Crowns.
I would listen to that song and just sob, not knowing what was going to happen to my parents, but the song comforted me because I started listening to the voice of truth, that is Jesus voice telling us not to be afraid,this is for His Glory. I am going to post that song on my blog for you today, it really helped me look at my situation from a different perspective and it restored my faith in Jesus, I hope it helps you. You are in my thoughts and prayers.

Davisix said...

Gentle {hugs} to you my friend. Rest and get well. Praying for you! Love you Ang

Anonymous said...

Hi there Amy. Sending prayers and love to you and your family. God is good and it is all his will. He is testing you daily. You will overcome all of these trials and be a stronger person for it.

HUGS,
LA LINDA

bluesuede said...

Even in what you call rambling, your words and thoughts are so profound. The reason you and your situation has touched so many of us is that we all know with the blink of an eye, our lives can change forever.

Take care, my friend.

Kelly said...

I continue to pray for a speedy and comfortable recovery!! You can ramble any time... medication or not!!

Aimie said...

You have a beautiful soul Amy.

Your hubby just loves you so much he wants to fix everything for you and is frustrated that he can't right now. I am so sorry to hear that you did not have a good moment together, it will pass though. You have so many more wonderful moments ahead of both of you. I know it.

God bless you both and our family will continue to pray for your family.

Shannon said...

It is so wonderful to hear from you, Amy. We've been thankful to your family for keeping us updated but it's nice to have you on. My eyes are full of tears as I read this. I am praying for you every day. A lot of amazing people are praying for you! I know you know that but don't ever forget how much we care.

Heather said...

Dear Amy,
I read your words and my heart was so full of emotion. First of all, how wonderful to be able to read your words for the first time since your surgery. Please know that you are NOT in this alone. You have a truly amazing family right there for you and people too numerous to count who love, respect, and admire you. We are ALL praying for you, thinking of you, and sending our love your way. I cannot begin to understand how you are feeling or what you are facing, but please know that I am blessed to call you my friend.

Lisa said...

Amy -

I so wish that I was able to do more for you. Me being here in Ohio and you being in sunny, warm Florida doesn't help much. I would so love to come over, sit down and enjoy a nice coffee or tea with you and just keep you company. I realize that you and your sweet hubby are going through some struggles right now, but you both need to always remember that you need to lean on one another and allow God to provide the way for you. I can't imagine how you both are coping with the news, but you all have been doing something right for being married for 21 years (WOW)!! It is sad that you don't see a whole lot of that anymore, but you both are doing something right and that is why you have been married that long. My heart goes out to you and please just remember that if you need to talk to anyone then you know where to find me.

Your caring & concerned friend,
Lisa

Magicsmom said...

Amy, you are in my prayers daily! May God bless you, comfort you, grant you strength and endurance, and may he, above all, heal you! You are very much loved! If nothing else, your encounter with the Heidi has gotten you a strong network of support and true friends.

JANE said...

Ramble on girl, ramble on!! You have been missed and I hope you feel the blanket of love surrounding you from bloggyland!
BIG prayers and Hugs!!

Aimee said...

I do not know you personally, but as a believer I love you. My word what a wonderful testimony you have in the works! I hope to get to know you personally I am praying daily for your complete healing. Miracles are NOT just limited to the holidays! I believe, I trust, i stand with you and family. Please know you are loved.
Lyrics from a song that saw me through my own "Valley of the Shadow of Death":

Another rainy day
I can't recall having sunshine on my face
And all I feel is pain
All I want to do is walk (run) out of this place

But when I am down, when I can't move, when I don't know what I should do, when I wonder if I will ever make it through...

I gotta keep singing, I gotta keep praising Your name. Your the ONE that's keeping my heart beating. I gotta keep singing, gotta keep praising Your name, that's the only way that I find healing.

I gotta keep singing.

Can I crawl up in Your lap, Oh, I don't want to leave. Jesus sing over me. I gotta keep singing. Jesus breath over me. I gotta keep singing.

With love, prayer, and expecting a miracle,

Aimee'

Aimee said...

Call me in the middle of the night...229-869-2587. I f you have Verizon it's FREE!

2big4mysize said...

Good to see you are back to being AMYB trying to figure out what you should be and how to fix everything.

I hope your pain meds work wonders and you and your whole family can have some time to emotionally recover during this Christmas season as you physically recover.

*Keli* said...

Hi Amy...there's so much I could say to you but I think the most important thing is for you to stay strong, keep your eyes on God and keep praying. We are all here for you and your ramblings! : ) Love ya Keli

Gran to Angels said...

Hi Amy! It's so good to see you! I can't talk for everyone else that is loving and supporting you but I can speak for myself....loving and supporting you is paying it forward for me!! Who was is that sent get well boxes and emails and phone calls when I was sick? You! I now get to give that back to you...my pleasure to do so! You have done so much for so many people...you have blessed countless people, some you don't even know! Rest, heal, know that I'm praying for you! We all are!
Love ya!
PS....how is Mrs Cullen feeling?

{i}Post said...

I am so glad that you were at least well enough to pound out the words. They were filled with emotion on this end. I am new here, but just know that you are an inspiration to me and I will continue to send positive and healing vibes your way. Hugs
xoxo

edie said...

Amy,
I'm a blog friend of Keli's and just wanted you to know that I said a prayer for you today. God is the healer of all broken bodies and hearts and a safe hiding place. Thank you for sharing your story.

♥ Becky ♥ said...

I came over here from Keli's blog.
Wanted to let you know that I am praying for you and your family. I can only imagine what it must be like as you and your family go through this. But God will hold you all in His loving arms to get through all of this.

Tink said...

I can't imagine what life must be like for you and your sweet family! You are in my prayers and I enjoy your honesty and thoughts. Thanks for sharing.

eske said...

Love you Amy, and thinking of you often. If Jim is frustrated or grumpy, it is because of how much he loves you. It is so hard when there is not a course of action to be DOING NOW. That will come, and then he will be more in his element, because there will be a plan. I am praying that God will guide the doctors to the exact plan that will heal you.

He And Me + 3 said...

Bless you Amy for logging in and sharing your heart. I am praying for you everyday!
Love,
Mimi

Anonymous said...

Hi Amy,
You are so sweet to log on so late - I hope that you can rest and let your body recoup - it has been through so much. It was nice of Jim to post - I don't think my DH even knows how to log onto the computer! LOL

You are the strongest woman I know! Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

I hope your bandages don't get in the way of hugs!

Hugs, Pam & Hunter

Tiffany said...

Amy,
Jane just shared your blog with me and I am in awe of the journey you're on.

I am sending lots of love, prayers, energy, encouragement and support your way.

Thank you for sharing such honest emotion in this post. You are absolutely beautiful.

misty said...

Amy,
It is so great to hear from you on here!So wonderful to read your words...you have been on my mind,and you are in my heart. I'm praying so hard for you and your family. You are such a blessing to all of us.Hugs, Misty

Pretty Organizer said...

Hey lady, just checking in to see how things are healing. You're a trooper. What tremendous strength you have.

Keep pressing forward. We'll all be here. I was thinking about you while I was unloading the dishwasher (grudgingly) and had to put myself in a spirit of gratitude for having that aweful job and not recovering from surgery like you! Oh.. you're inspiring. You're in my prayers and I will have faith that all things will work out to be the will of God for one of His most dear daughters here on earth. Take care friend.

Pretty Organizer

Lokarblisa aka xbuffyx said...

Hi, Amy,

We've never spoke personally but I know you from the LCF boards - I was xbuffyx over there, but I quit posting years ago and now I just lurk. I have always admired your strength and passion for life and sense of humor through everything for Phillip, and then I read about your own challenges and I just had to reach out to you.

I am going through something very similar, I am actually on my way to surgery within the next couple of hours. My mass is on the right uppermost side of my neck.

I am so inspired by you though. Just reading your blog and drawing strength from such an amazing person, that really helps me as I start down the same path.

Please don't ever change, because you are such a beacon of light for so many people. I hope that we all can be YOUR beacon during these times.

I will be praying for you and your family.

Gina said...

I am very sorry you are feeling bad Amy. I hope you have a speedy and full recovery.

Gina

angi_b72 said...

My prayers are with yoU!

E said...

Amy, you're going through so much together what with YOU and with PHILIP. Hang in there and we will all just keep on praying for your whole family. I know your husband is having to be 'strong' and sometimes he proabably just wants to cry out, too. How much stress can one family take? I know you've asked yourself that same question many times, huh?

Love and prayers heading your way!!!!

ixtapacheryl said...

Oh Amy - many hugs go to the both of you! I can only speak from a caretaker's point of view.

I would get so angry at Jeff ..... silent treatment, never smiling, blah blah blah. What I learned through this is I was not angry at him - I was angry at the disease. At one time when I felt so guilty - I actually sat down with him and told him this. I didn't want him to think I was angry at him.

Be prepared for all kinds of emotions from Philip ..... it's can't be helped. It doesn't mean he doesn't love you - it means he feels helpless. There were times that I would wake up angry and go to bed angry. I'd cry at the drop of a hat (of course not in front of Jeff).

I have also found out that this disease does not just affect the patient. Everyone in your house and immediate family is affected by this. Holidays change - your social life has changed - etc. Your life has forever changed and so has Philip's.

A friend of mine told me my life will NEVER be the same as before. Even while things are getting better - it's always lurking in the back of your mind.

I found it most comforting when Jeff actually sat down with me and shared his feelings instead of not talking.

I've always been an optimistic person and when I saw him act so defeated - that made me angry as well. I wanted to fix things right away. Progress was too slow and it still is. It feels like I've been on this journey for a lifetime and it's only been 10 months.

So when you feel up to it - sit down with Philip. Let him express his feelings of frustrations, etc. Remember - it has NOTHING to do with you!!!!!
Also it's important to him that you express your feelings as well. He wants to hear from you.

Please know that you and your family are very much in my prayers. Every day will be different. Find a few minutes a day where you and Philip can talk about something NOT associated with your illness.

I hope my caretaker's thoughts and feelings will help you understand what Philip is going through.

ixtapacheryl said...

Oh my goodness - in my post I was mentioning Philip when I meant Jim..... I'm so sorry! Hopefully you knew who I was referring to....

Hugs - Cheryl

Sassy Cass said...

Amy, You are so full of strength and wisdom. I can only pray that if I were in your situation I would handle it with half the grace that you have. Thanks for being such an inspiration.

Tracy B said...

Amy dear Amy I read your words and feel your need!! I wish I could be there to help you with everything!! I know this is not an easy journey but always remember that you are in my thoughts and prayers!!! Philip is there too!!! I was shocked when I read the post from Jim! I know we have not chatted in a while but I do think of you often!! You were such a support system for me and I really hope that I am there for you too!!! Take care dear sweet friend and always remember you are a beautiful person, mom, wife, sister, aunt and friend!!!
Love ya
Tracy

The Life and Times of The Nickolson's said...

Oh Amy, I'm not even sure what to say right now. I read your blog and was really happy that Jim updated. Then when I saw Emily's pic's that she posted my heart just ached for you. I am so sorry that you are all going through this. You have so much on your plate already. Ok I am going to say something, I think God knows you push yourself way to hard and you always have to have solutions and answers, {which isn't a bad thing} but I think he see's you wearing yourself out and getting tired so he is just distracting you from everything else for awhile so you will rest. I am so sorry it has been so drastic though, but knowing you and your family I know you will all pull together and come out even stronger. That's just what you all do. Amy I love and admire you and your strength. I always have. Who was there when I needed so much support, YOU WERE! Who was there when a certain someone crushed me in a cruel way? YOU WERE! Who was there when I needed help and advice about Gracie? YOU WERE. You have been a great friend for the 5 yrs that I have known you. I'm not sure if you still have my number but I still have the same email addy and I will talk to you anytime! I know you aren't able to talk right now but we can type. Always know that you and your family are in our prayers. I love you Amy and am praying for strength for you and also quick recovery.

Ashley Griffin said...

nobody thinks you are complaining! i am just amazed at how strong you are and if it were me i WOULD be complaining. please know that i think and pray for you often.

love,
ashley

momma said...

just heard about you and your family from sits and am stopping by. i will be praying for you and keeping a check on your site for updates. keep the faith!

Ritch in Love said...

Dear Amy,
I wanted to let you know that your story is very powerful. There are so many ways to view our personal struggles and so many choose to shun any thought of hope...but I can tell that yours is a very strong spirit and you will fight for a life full of joy and hope and peace and strength.
And in your darkest hours please remember that you are never alone. Just hold on, there will be light and know that Heavenly Father loves and knows you and your families needs and will bless you.

Jamie said...

I'm visiting from the SITS blog too. Great big gentle hugs from WI!

Elizabeth M Thompson said...

I am visiting from SITS, too and will be praying for you and your family. Keep walking in faith.

Alicia said...

Oh my goodness..I'm so glad that you clicked on my follow button because I forgot to click on yours yesterday when I read your blog.

My heart was so heavy for you and your son. I prayed for you both, your husband, and the doctors to have wisdom. I will continue to pray for you all!! I can't imagine what you are going through, but God does!! Keep trusting in Him that He will guide your paths through all of this.

Trust in the Lord with all your heart, and lean not on your own understanding. In all your ways acknowledge Him and he will guide your path. Proverbs 3:5-6

HUGS,
Alicia

The Blonde Duck said...

I stopped by from SITS! I hope things get better. You're such an inspiration.

LadyFi said...

I wish you much patience, strength and love in your battle. My mother-in-law went through something similar with cancer in her throat. They managed to get rid of all the nasty bits in the end. It wasn't easy - but hang on there.

We are all thinking of you - and your lovely family!

mommytoalot said...

I am also stopping by from SITS...
thinking of you and your family
xo

mommytoalot said...

I am also stopping by from SITS...
thinking of you and your family
xo

mommytoalot said...

I am also stopping by from SITS...
thinking of you and your family
xo

April said...

Still praying for you, Amy!

Meaghan said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you!

My name is Meaghan and I am a terminal cancer survivor. I was diagnosed a little under 2 years ago when I was 28. I started my blog I Kicked Cancer's @ss. I have also started a project called spirit jumpers.

The blog will be up shortly but the project is up and running. There are almost 100 shops and individuals that are participating. the idea is to send cards and gifts to those battling cancer. From personal experience I know that a little something in the mail can really brighten a fighters day. The people who are sending gifts have wonderful, beautiful things to give and hearts too!

Would you and your family like to be a recipient of some things to lift your spirits? Right now we have a 4 year old boy on the list and he his mother has told me that this project has really warmed his heart and helped with their fight.

Please email me if you are interested or if you want more info.

megse5@netscape.net

annie kelleher said...

hi amy - i saw your story over at SITS and wanted to stop in and say hi and let you know that you are not alone in your struggle. thanks for being so brave and for sharing your story with us. i hope you and your son continue to recuperate and i hope the new year brings you health and many blessings...

NJDecorator said...

You and your family have a strength and faith that will get you though these challenges. Stay strong and focused and remember that there are many people pulling and praying for you.

and thanks for being a SITsa!

Cindy said...

Amy, You don't know me, but I'm thinking of you and your family.

Jen @ JenuineJen said...

I just found you from Jumping in the Jungle's site. You are in my prayers. You have an incredible attitude in light of the way things are going. You are looking forward to the way you will grow from this experience. You are setting an incredible example to other in this difficult time.

May God continue to give you strength to handle this situation. And may you and your husband feel with His peace during this difficult time.

K said...

Good luck with your battle.

You're very brave.

K said...

Good luck with your battle.

You're very brave.

vicki haley said...

Amy,
I just read your story on SITsa and wanted to stop by and let you know that you and your family are in our prayers.

Shelley said...

Amy,
Congratulations on being featured on SITS. I will be praying for you and your family. I appreciate your witness for Christ.

Dawn@Embracing the Ordinary Life said...

I am touched by your story...I would have to say that you have a right to complain once and awhile...you got delt a difficult hand. I am impressed though, how you do not wallow in pity for yourself...just honor yourself, and what is happening to you...I hope another 21 years for you and your husband as well...

Creative Junkie said...

I wish there was something I could say that would make you feel better.

I'm so sorry for what you are going through. Your post is heart wrenching.

Amy Fichtner said...

You have a beautiful story and you will be in my thoughts and prayers.

Jodi said...

I'm just coming over from SITS. I will be praying for you now! You are so stong and know you are not alone. It sounds like you have great family and friends.
Take care!

ElleBee said...

Stopping by from SITS. Keeping you in my prayers...

anti-supermom said...

Prayers sent your way, or your entire family.

Beth

mommaof4wife2r said...

i'm here from SITS and i have to say, you are a new friend already! what a woman...sending some choc covered espresso beans for you thru the wires...

Dina said...

I found you through SITS and I have to say you are an extremely strong and brave woman. I have the deepest respect for you, and lady if you want to complain, complain you have the right! But your positive thoughts are so encouraging.

Kelly Deneen said...

I'm stopping by via SITS. Your post and story makes my heart ache. You and your family have gone through so much already. I will be thinking of all of you, and I hope you are able to enjoy the holidays. Take care.

jubilee said...

Please know that you now have a new prayer warrior on your side.Draw your strength, your courage, your optimism from Him and He'll never let you down. His arms are always open and they never tire.

I love your blog design and the quote you have on your header is oh so true!

debilyn said...

Stopping by from SITS...
our thoughts and prayers are with you and your family.

what an inspiration you are...and a humble reminder to the rest of us who like to complain about "the little things", that we should never take our blessings for granted.

merry christmas and much love!

Katy Lin :) said...

thank you for being so genuine! you and your family are in my prayers! i'm glad to have found you through SITS

Connie Weiss said...

Prayers lifted for you today.

AndreaLeigh said...

I am visiting from SITS to say that I am thinking of you and praying. Many well wishes for your recovery, Amy.

Brandy said...

Here from SITS...I will be praying for you and your family.

Preston said...

I've come to you via SITS and my heart goes out to you and your family. Even though you are feeling pain, loneliness, and uncertainty, there is an amazing strength in the way you write--whether you see it or not. And all these comments! You are definitely loved. Merry Christmas!

Melissa Papaj Photography said...

I am visiting from SITS and please know that my thoughts and prayers are with you!

Reluctant Housewife said...

My thoughts are with you and your family.

Coffee with Cathy said...

Amy, I'm another SITS poster and I want you know how much your story has touched me. As much as we can be, your blogging friends are here for you, praying for you and your family.

Michelle said...

Oh goodness. I DONT know what you are going through. But I always try to remind wives that men think differently than we do...they are fixers...they would lay down their lives for us (No greater has this...). So when they are presented with NOTHING TO DO..they lose just a piece of their manhood. Get what I mean.

I know that probably doesnt help in the scheme of things..and who am I anyway but some stranger on the 'net. But I believe in Titus 2 and I hope I am being helpful based on that.

L & W said...

Keep your head up. I've been through the same thing. There are those nights that are just simply harder than others. But in the end, it is al worth it and you'll be able to look back and see how much stronger you are from this. I am praying for you, friend.

Amy said...

From one Amy to another, I will keep you in my thoughts and prayers and wish you and your family the best in everything.
God Bless you and Merry Christmas :)

Michele said...

Lots of warm, healing vibes your way.

Bas, Katie and Luna de Laat said...

I pray that you can feel God's loving arms around you, caring for you, just as you care for your own child.

San said...

My prayers are with you...

*hugs!*

Vickie said...

Hi Amy,
I am from SITS. You do not know me but I am thinking and praying for you and your family.

I hope you have a fast and full recovery.

Take care.

jsprik said...

**hugs** oh my, where do i start...I m praying that God will give you peace and strength!! courage and patience. I am praying that God will do a miracle in your life and heal you if that is His will. I know it is hard, I lost my ten year old little boy in a car accident in 2004. So I know that sometimes it's hard to know the heart of God, but rest assured, He knows you and knows what is best for you and your family. He.Will.Take.Care.Of.You.
God Bless you and yours! hugs and prayers...

Jennifer said...

Amy, I am sending my prayers and hugs. I found you through SITS and I am glad I did. I cannot imagine to know what you are going through. I can tell you that I had a stroke at 37 (not at all the same as what you are going through), however I am still on pain meds 2 years later, my life has comletely changed, but I am here. My husband has been my rock and my kids have been great. For me, the middle of the nights are the hardest, I think I think too much. I also feel guilty that I am not the "same" mom my boys had 2 years ago and then I get down on myself. So, if anything I said sounds familiar, do know you are not alone.

Again, I shall be following the blog and offering my continued prayers.

jori-o said...

Hope your pain and your mind were eased, even just for a moment, after that post. Keeping you in my thoughts and prayers.

Wendy said...

I'm stopping in from SITS to wish you luck and send some love your way.

Laura said...

I'm stopping by from SITS. You are amazing, Amy. Do your best to stay strong, but let those who love you, even strangers, help support you. May God bless you and your family.

Aleta said...

I'm here from SITS and sending prayers to you and your family. Your post is an open book of emotions. Bless you for that honesty and sending wishes of strength through the love of your fellow bloggers, friends and family.

Saving The Day said...

Hi Amy,
I'm a newcomer to your blog (I found you through SITS) but I would like to offer my prayers and support to you and your family. Thank you for sharing your story. It is a gift to everyone who reads it.

Kasey said...

I'm inspired by your strength, and will send up a prayer for you and your family.

. said...

Here from SITS and adding you to my prayer list. I am so sorry about your cancer.

Marrdy said...

You sound like a brave, strong woman confronted by something neither you or your hubby can control. Hugs to both of you!

Maven said...

Here's just a little bit more support.

You are a beautiful writer, and obviously a beautiful person. I'm sending love and good thoughts your way from afar.

kjamama said...

Stopping by from SITS to give you *hugs*

Tranquility said...

My thoughts and prayers are with you and your family!

Rhea said...

Pretty amazing post for someone on heavy painkillers. I like how you put it all out there.

blognut said...

Wow - You are an inspiration.

Andrea said...

Hi Amy! I found your blog from SITS. First, congrats on being featured today! Secondly, I don't know much about what's going on other then I read that you have cancer. This weekend I hope to go through and read your blog in more detail and get to know you better(since I'm at work right now and can't read too much).

Cancer hits very close to home for me since unfortunately almost every one of my aunts, a couple of uncles, all my grandparents and even my father has had cancer. We just found out my mother in law has cancer this past October. It's scary how much cancer is out there right now!

I just wanted to say that this blog is for you and is your outlet. You write whatever it is you need to, for you to feel better. Try not to worry about what anyone else will think or feel about your posts. Writing is very theraputic and you need to be able to feel free to get it all off your chest. And if you don't think you can do that for the whole world to see, it might be a good idea to start another private blog that only you can access so you don't feel like you need to censor yourself at all.

From my experience, it helps to let it all out and say what you feel. It can only help your recovery!

My prayers and thoughts are with you during this time and I'm glad to read you have a good support system.

Gentle hugs to you!

Jamie said...

Thanks for sharing & know that your husband is probably just as stressed about all that is going on and worried about you. It seems like you both have a very strong bond and great family filled with Love and it is inspiring :-)

Live.Love.Eat said...

Hi there. I came over from SITS and just wanted to share in the support. I will pray for you and your family. Your strength and honesty is something to admire.

Joy said...

I am stopping by from SITS & just want to convey my care and concern for all you're going through. Hugs and prayers go out to you this day.

Ronnica said...

I'm glad that SITS is featuring you today. You need all the hugs you can get at this time.

(((HUG)))

Swirl Girl said...

Sometimes when we are stuck in the muck and mire of life - we all need to sit back and think of our blessings and how fortunate some of us -
reading about all that you are going through has certainly brought that to light for me.

Your indombnibal spirit and strenght are truly inspirational !

thank you for that and I wish only the best for you and your family.

blueviolet said...

I heard at SITS about your blog and was so touched that I wanted to come and see just who this lovely person was. I know you have a long road ahead of you for both yourself and your son and I hope you know that there are so many people out here in bloggy land that are praying for you and pulling for you. I'm sending positive thoughts with healing and love. Merry Christmas, Amy!

Jeanne said...

Please know that you and your family are in my prayers.

Jeanne

Leah said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers.

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage said...

You are in my thoughts and prayers as well!

Amy

Michelle said...

Wow. You have some incredible friends. And as hard as your life is now, I hope that the path eases and becomes smoother for you soon with a nice neat package for everyone. Thoughts and prayers with you!

Oh2122 said...

Oh, honey. I wish I could hug you. Ooof, doesn't that sound a little odd from a stranger still?

My little sis was diagnosed with Lymphoma the week of her 21st birthday. Happy birthday, right?

She's been to hell and back, but almost 2 1/2 years later she's clean and living a charmed life.

You and your family will be in my thoughts.

Elle MD said...

Amy, you have a beautiful blog! Your family, your pets, the whole layout. And you have a beautiful mind. This is my first visit to your blog and I truly enjoyed your voice.

You're in my thoughts and prayers!

- Leslie

Carolina Mama said...

Beautiful blog! And love the Beatles. :)

Finding Normal said...

Many prayers for all of you.

nikkicrumpet said...

You and your family will be in my heart and prayers. It's wonderful that you have such a supportive husband. Hang in there...we're all here to give you a shoulder and a push...whichever you need most.

The Muse said...

Ramble on and on and on....you have friends who will listen and care.

Stesha said...

Sending thousand of prayers up for you and your family

Sits