Wednesday, December 10, 2008

The Medical Info From This Week

I have been meaning to update this for two days now. But after my biopsy things seem to get harder with how I was feeling and my emotions.

It is a few hours from my surgery ...it seems like it has taken forever to get here ...and now here it is. I have been up all night.....

Yes I am scared. Some about the pain...but more so about the idea that I am out of control. I so have wants and needs to be a good mother and wife. For weeks now I feel like I have walked around with such a attitude of ...we will do what it takes....and now today...I can not find that attitude. Where is it? I feel vulnerable ...and that is not bad. But I feel a mess this morning.

I am disappointed that this has happened for the kids at Christmas. As a mom we all set up how the holidays are going to be...I just wanted things different. I know this is just my emotions talking. The holidays will be what they are...we will do it as a family.

It is all I can do to not call someone...Jim is sleeping and trust me he needs to sleep. The last thing I want is to have him see me like this...He needs to know that I know all will be okay. I bet some of you know what I mean.

I am going to give you some real quick medical info..and then post a blog about Philip. Please take time to read the post about Philip. I so need all of you to help me do what I can not do today...

I know that the radiologist report said I needed a PET scan ASAP for the nodules on my chest. The DR wanted to get it done right away but then it was decided that the anesthesiologist did not want me put to sleep having that done so soon before. It also was decided that the course of action would not make a difference...the masses have grown to a size that the Dr is very concern. She has made plans to have a pathologist in the OR with us. But she did warn me that because of the type of tissue we are looking at...we very well may not know till Monday when the test come back. She also explained that due to the size and location. WE may not get them all today.

The radiology report stated..
Two pathology size nodes seen in the mid line and left of the mid line. These could be lymphoma or metastatic disease.

Two upper lobe nodules were also noted. A full work up needs to be done including a PET scan and a full CT with and without contrast for a baseline.

Also noted a occult mass can not be excluded.


There is the medical info...

The Dr explained that her concern us to start with these. If these are not cancer ..the concern is that these are acting this way to help fight off what is in the chest or breast area.

She wanted to make sure Jim had someone with him today. Which leads me to my next post.

Ladies...please know I have felt your prayers in the past..and I am coming here today to ask you to pray for my family today. There seems to be so much going on..too much. I know God does not give us more then we can handle...but I am feeling pushed to my limit...

Anyone awake for a early morning call from a freaked out crying mess of a person?

Thank you all for every single comment, email, card and friendship. I find it so telling...I started my blog weeks before I found out I had these medical concerns. God knew I needed all of you. And as always he is GOOD.

40 comments:

Slick said...

You wrote: "Anyone awake for a early morning call from a freaked out crying mess of a person?" Oh my gosh yes... bring it on gal... I'm ready. Love you dearly... I haven't finished reading yet.. but I will as soon as I get this comment out. (h)

Davisix said...

You got it! xoxox Ang

JANE said...

Oh Amy, wish I had been up I have really wide shoulders!

He And Me + 3 said...

Amy,

God is in the midst of our storms. Praying for you today.

Lisa said...

Amy - I so wish that I could be there to help you out. I realize that all of this must be freustrating to you and I am so sorry for that. I wish I had a magic wand for you and Phillip, but what I can offer to you is my prayers. Hoping things go well for you and Phillip.

Love & Hugs, Lisa

Jamie said...

I hope everything goes well and things start turning around. Off to read more of your blog...Your in my prayers also.

Maven said...

I feel like I'm intruding because I've never met you. I originally came here because your blog was linked on SITS.

I'm glad now that I did. I want you to know that I'm sending out a prayer and good thoughts for you right now.

Givinya De Elba said...

Here from SITS, Amy I am so terribly sorry this has happened to you. I am really going to pray for you and your family because I just wish these sorts of things never happened. I hope you found someone to call in the night.

mommytoalot said...

Amy..
keeping you in my prayers
..

Creative Junkie said...

AMy - I just said a prayer for you.

Katy Lin :) said...

oh amy - i wish i could have been there to sit with your fam in the waiting room. i hope that you all have the most blessed Christmas - love ya SITStah!

Brandy said...

And now God has pointed us all in your direction. Again I will be praying for your and your family. Find strength in Him and in the friends you've made here.

Bless you.

Preston said...

Stay strong Amy. Last year but 28 yo daughter was hit with the possibility of breast cancer. Apparently she has a very lumpy breast. She lost a small chunk of her left breast but is now cancer free. It was a horrible experience for her and was very difficult for me to watch and feel so helpless. You are not alone. We are all here for you.

Coffee with Cathy said...

Amy -- Adding you to my prayer list. Thank you for being brave enough to let all of us strangers in.

Michelle said...

i know you asked for prayers a few days back, but I'm praying just the same.

hellosweetworld said...

Be strong. I know you can get through this!

L & W said...

You can do this! I'll be praying for you every day.

Bas, Katie and Luna de Laat said...

You're in our prayers.

jori-o said...

You're in my prayers too. Sending love and happy wishes!

Vickie said...

I feel like I am invading your blog. I will pray for you. Since I started blogging, I pray a few words at church for my fellow bloggers who need help. You and your family will be in my prayers. I am going off to read more.

cornnut32 said...

sending hope and prayers and faith your way...

Laura said...

You are one brave woman. Best wishes and prayers sent your way.

Aleta said...

I remember when Greg was in his head-on car accident and how I needed the support of friends and family. Just knowing they are there and their love, it helps. It truly does. Know that there are people in this world that you have never met, but are thinking about you and praying for you and your family. Feel the strength from us...

. said...

I wish I'd been reading your blog back then to send some prayers your way at that time, hope you found someone to talk to that morning!

Marrdy said...

You will be in my prayers today and everyday until you get through this. And probably long afterwards too.

Michele said...

You will be in my thoughts and prayers. We are never alone!

Rhea said...

You aren't alone. You may feel that way at times, but you're not. So many are praying and thinking about you.

blognut said...

Will keep you in my prayers as well.

Jamie said...

I'll keep you and your family in my thoughts and prayers. You are going through an awful lot...I can't imagine! But know that there are people that are there for you (even in the blogosphere) and that will be thinking about you through all of this. You seem very strong and I know you'll get through everything okay.

Joy said...

((hugs))

Ronnica said...

Yes, God is good! He is good all the time and loves us more than we'll ever know. May He show that love to you in a tangible way today and through the Christmas season.

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage said...

Continued prayers...

Amy

Michelle said...

Oh the not knowing has to be the hardest. Prayers to you, and I hope that everything comes through sunshine and roses soon. Again, you've got some incredible people who care about you.

Elle MD said...

I know you don't know me, but if you use MSN messenger, we can chat any time you see me online. My id is lesliemdoyle@hotmail.com. I'm not a cancer survivor, but I have close friends who are. I'm a devout Christian and a bad sleeper. I'm open to chat any time.

Until then, take care of you!

- Leslie

littleeverydaythings said...

My prayers for peace and healing and with you and your family.

Renée aka Mekhismom said...

Prayers are being sent up for you. You are a strong woman and we are all here for you. And more importantly God is on your side.

liz said...

Praying long and hard for you and Phillip today. . .and everyday from now on.

Laura Ingalls Gunn said...

Hi! I am praying for you right now!
Remember, its the friends you can call at 2 am that really matter.
I would be honored to be that friend.
Be blessed and WELL!

Stesha said...

And the prayer will continue and they will be answered.

thequeenmommy said...

Amy - I found you from SITS and am really touched that you have been able to share your personal experience with people you don't even know. I am praying for you - and I do hope that when you feel like you can't go on, that you WILL call your friends. Even from reading just a few comments, if you need to talk with someone and your hubby needs sleep, I really urge you to call on a friend. God has given you some friends who will do anything for you (from the sounds of things) and to let them help you in any way would be a blessing to you both. You DON'T have to do this alone. And God knows our need for human touch and interaction - and it may be that He is just waiting to wrap His Arms around you in a way that you can feel tangibly - through your friends. I'm adding your button to my blog and am going to ask my friends to pray for you too. We don't have to know each other - we only need to know the same God and that we are all moms...