How was your Christmas?

I would love to hear how your Christmas was.  Did you get to spend time with family and friends? Is it snowing where you are? Did you get a Oh My Goodness gift that you were surprised with?

I had wanted to go see my mom and sister in SC but it just was not in the cards.  I hate to be away from them during the holidays they are the only family I have.  It was just too much to travel there .  The worse things is it is snowing there.  I would love love love to be there and see the snow.  I know many of you may be hating the snow but for a Florida gal I wanna see the snow.

Today is a new meds day.  Steroids.  Need I say more? :(

The kids are so glad school is out.  I am glad it is also and I can slow down and not worry so much about this and that.  Nice to have some down time.

A special Friend of mine Grace  is having surgery on her shoulder today.  Maybe you could pop over and tell her I sent ya by to send some support.

I am going to post some pictures later today. :) They tell a much better story..huh?

Something has been missing

There is something missing  lately.  It is my blogging.  I always and I mean always seem to  just get quite and do not share when things are hard.  I know without a doubt that no one expects me to be anything but myself but I just have a hard time "faking it and a harder time sharing my worries non stop".  But I miss my blog and all of you sooooo here I am. Are any of you still here?

I will start with I have been in a bad place. I have had to dig deep and work everyday at thinking I will make it through this.  I know that so many others have burdens, so so much harder then mine.  I know I am blessed in so many ways.  But the truth is I have been in a very bad place.  Sad, crying and feeling hopeless.  I have been worried about my future, my marriage and what type of childhood memories I am giving to my kids.  Being a good mom was something I swore I would do from day one.  Being a mom who made memories and took pictures and had a home and not a house was something I swore I would do from day one.  And lately it seemed that I was failing on the simpler things of life.  The truth is...I am tired.  I am worn out physically and emotionally.  Being what it is I have also not felt very strong spiritually.  So each day I have been "white knuckling " each day.  And hiding within myself. 

So here I am peeking out.  One thing I know for sure is..my way is not working.  So my simple goal is to share some pics and some stories...and work on opening myself up and digging my way out of this place I am...

I hope you all have not given up  on me.  I sorta need you all more now then maybe ever before.