Today I had a conversation with myself. And yes I do this pretty often . Today my conversation was about If I AM Crazy. I am dead serious when I share this with you. I spent a while today wondering if I am going crazy. The reason I THINK or THOUGHT I might be crazy is how I am feeling lately.
I have been feeling pretty darn discouraged about many things in my life. And yet the simplest things lately have been making me smile.
Yesterday I felt like nothing was going right and no matter how hard I tried I could not fix this or that. Then I took Cole outside to check on something and Cole looks up at me and I melted. He had some sunglasses on and looked so darn cute. I thought to myself..How very blessed I am.
I guess the truth is I have been pretty depressed. Then it turned into overwhelmed..then to anxiety. Some days I seem to have a mixture of all three. So I have been trying very hard to dig deep and just really count my blessings.
The truth is...I THINK it would be easier to just feel the "down" feelings . I think it would be easier to give into them . Because some days I get worn out reminding myself to count my blessings. Some days I think Things Are So Bad..Then I think They Could Be worse. Then I think..well they are bad enough. See why I think I might be crazy..It is a lot of going back and forth in my brain.
So I guess as you can see this is a Random Thought post. I guess I am saying that I am digging deep . If you look around there are blessings everywhere..I just gotta look for them and appreciate them.
Philip has a very important appt tomorrow at 10:00. I so hope that it goes well and there is some positive news from it. Please keep him in your thoughts tomorrow.
9 comments:
If you're crazy, then so am I :o)
I will keep Philip very close in thought tomorrow.
Amy..I know exactly what you are talking about. I am experiencing many trials and hearbreaks in my life at present and I find myself going from crying to laughing and back to crying many times a day. Sometimes I feel totally disconnected from my body. Praying that you (and I) are able to hold firm onto what we know is true....that Jesus is in total control of our situations and that someday we will behold his face and these trials will seem nothing.
Sweetie, you are not going crazy AT ALL!!! You are experiencing difficulties in life it's to be expected to feel the feelings that you are. God has a plan!!
We are all praying for you, Phillip and the family and we all love you!!!
Hey. The depression thing, I get that. Not the oh gosh I lost my job and my cat died depression that most of the world experiences. The medical depression, the seeing others hurt depression, the not being able to make it better depression. I've been to rock bottom. It hurts. Spending a week getting "help" in a place that was more of a prison then a welcoming help place. It hurts. Of all the words said to me during those days. The words of my dear friend Debi helped the most. I still think of them often. They aren't exactly her words though. A chapter from the Bible instead "How long wilt thou forget me, oh Lord? How long wilt thou hide thy face from me? How long shall I take counsel in my soul, having sorrow in my heart daily? How long shall mine enemy be exalted over me? Consider and hear me, O Lord my God: lighten mine eyes, lest I sleep the sleep of death; Lest mine enemy say , I have prevailed against him: and those that trouble me rejoice when I am moved. But I have trusted in thy mercy; my heart shall rejoice in thy salvation. I will sing unto the Lord, because he hath dealt bountifully with me." Psalms 13. Beautiful. Perfect. Words sent from God to comfort us. Another thing. Don't wear yourself out counting your blessings. It is very important, but not if it is making things harder. I have a book, where in my hardest moments, i go and write down 5 things to be thankful for. I used to do it everyday, I still should... ... Just my thoughts.... I'm here.... *Ga5bby
Oh sweet lady... I can't even begin to imagine what you are going through. All I have to say is that you are AMAZINGLY strong because there is no way on this freaking planet that I could handle things the way that you are. You guys are three hours ahead but I hope that Philip's appointment went well... thinking of you guys always!!
You have so much going on,it has got to be beyond overwhelming..I think it's amazing how you respond to the challenges in your life. You could let this all take over and get the best of you,but instead, you take it all in and keep trying. You are doing everything you can. Please remember to breathe and take it one step at a time.Sending prayers and positive thoughts for the appt today
You aren't crazy... you just have way too much to deal with in your life. That is an adorable picture.
I hope you are doing okay. I haven't seen you on Twitter in awhile. Did you ever get your prize you won on my blog?
Thinking of you today on this Mother's Day. May He surround you with His presence and wrap you in His love.
Of course you would be able to see the bright side and be realistic. Feeling the down is healthy, ignoring it is dangerous.
Amy...you can teach a lot of people a lesson or two! Again, I'm amazed by you.
Prayers for Philip.....
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