I have been at a little lost for words. Not sure what to say or blog about. Yet I find myself missing my blog. So here I am.
I have been thinking alot about the purpose of my blog. I always get such support and tons of prayers. But the one thing I never wanted was a pity blog. The odd thing is, when I started my blog I did it to make it about everyday life vs a medical blog. Then I got sick ..well not sick...I hate the words I am sick..How about I found out I had cancer. Well you know what I mean. Anyways..back to my thoughts..I just never want my blog to be a pity poor Amy and her awful life.
Because in truth..I am so very blessed. My goodness...who can say their son has had 19 brain operations and a stroke and he is still here with us? I am also so very blessed that I found my lump and they found the other nodules during testing. And I am still here.
With that being said..I do feel frustrated every single day. I am not sure how I am suppose to deal with it. For example..am I trying to hard to fight the issues? Would it be easier to just give in to the OMG this stinks thoughts?
I want to be happy. I want to be content. I want I want I want...is that bad?
I guess I just feel like there is something wrong with ME when I have to try so hard to get through the days.I guess I just feel like maybe I am stuck...
Okay enough of this.
There are some GREAT things happening in our home. Tons of happiness. Smiles from our kids. Tons of laughter. Yet the hurt full things are the ones that are hurting me. I just need to say this..I worry every single minute of the day about Philip. I trust God. I pray daily. And I know I am suppose to hand it over to God. I try...I am...and yet I struggle with that also..
Subscribe to:
Post Comments (Atom)
10 comments:
It cannot be an easy thing.... staying positive with all that you have and are going thru. I cannot even say I understand nor would I.
What I do know is that you are one of the strongest people I know. You deserve some moments of doubt more than anyone.
And as I type this there is no doubt of mine that you are already back to where you always are. Strong in your faith, doubting none of Gods will, and teaching us through your actions how we too should handle our adversities.
Thanks for who you are and all you do here. I have never seen your blog as a medical blog, but that of a very loving family who just so happens to have some serious medical situations.
Too much love here to call this a medical blog. Sorry my friend.
All our Love and Prayers Always,
Tim
This is hard. Being positive all the time must be frustrating and very hard to keep on a smile. But you have every right to feel like crap somedays if you want to! But try to stay positive.
Even though you doubt, your words do help others who may be going through similar situations. Your words encourage others in their struggles and show that when life is hard, you still survive.
It is hard to find happy thoughts when other things are distracting you. I am so glad that things are moving in a positive direction.
Thank you for sharing,
Amy, you're just human. Everything you're wrestling with and feeling is simply your humanity--whether doubt, fear, anxiety, or questions, it's all normal. On the other hand, anything you are not wrestling with and find strength or grace to face, that is all Christ. So rest in His ability and not your own. In our weakness HE is strong. No need to pretend to be strong. Remember how Paul wrote that He had learned to boast about his weaknesses for in them our God is glorified. This is not to say we go around moping all the time, and I can understand what you're saying out self-pity, but your situation is one that no one but you should understand. Anyhow, sharing is good because it lightens your burden. That is what your brothers and sisters are here for. I am always praying. I know we don't write back and forth or know each other personally, but God has alerted me to pray and encourage you and that is enough for now. Maybe we'll be neighbors in heaven. ;) Rest in Him dear one.
I have never felt that you had a pity blog. To me your blog is a HOPE blog.
Yes, things are messy right now but the overwhelming message I get from your blog is no matter how low you go-you always have hope.
Wow. I'm feeling incresibly bad about my pit party now. You are an awesome person, espeically being able to stay so up through so many trials. Thanks for dropping by my discussion over at blogfrog. It hit home with alot of women and it's nice to know I'm not alone.
alicia
Thinking so much of you sweetie. (((HUGS)))
I do not see your blog as a pity-Amy blog nor do I see it as a medical blog. Your blog is simply what you are going through in your life at this time. I think for most of us reading your blog we are amazed at how strong you and your entire family is at dealing with the hardships you have all been handed. It is hard enough for most families to have a child that is continuously sick, but to have one of the parents also fighting for her life with cancer compounds that to stress levels that many families can not handle. You and your family show the rest of us so much strength, sometimes I think something I am dealing with is so tough, and then I think of you, Philip and your family and realize that my little trouble is nothing at all.
Your blog should grow and change just as we all grow and change...this is your blog and it should be just that "your" blog, if people don't like what you write, so what, they do not need to read it...as for me, I look forward to your posts and continue to look at you in amazement for your faith, your strength and your bare honesty...What you are going through is tough, it is hard, it is brutal and when you are honest about it...I can feel your pain, I feel your doubts...it makes me pray for you all, that much harder..you are such an inspiration.
You have been through and are going through so much..your blog is about what is going on in your life, never a pity me or med blog.You help me see that although we can't control the challenges that come up in life, we can choose how we respond. The way you respond teaches so much, faith, courage, grace, perseverance..you inspire me and so many others. I love your honesty and appreciate you sharing the good, bad and in between. But beyond that, you are an awesome person, easy to talk to, great mom, so funny...there is much more than the struggles..it just shines through. Thanks for being you!
Just waving hello for right now as I'm "new" here. Good to have your email about the photo thing and I look forward to reading more here!
ann
Post a Comment