I had planned to post about Philip and some details of a medical procedure he is having Tuesday. But if I am being honest..I am just worn out in many ways today. My treatment really has been hard and I am having a pretty hard time with the new protocol. It was Cole's birthday today and I spent a lot of the day making sure he had a wonderful day. And now it is almost 1 am and I am up thinking too much and yes worrying a little. Maybe worrying is not the right word.
Today on twitter ..A sweet friend tweeted something that said everything I have been feeling and not able to put into words.
"We're not necessarily doubting that God will do the best for us; we're wondering how painful the best will turn out to be."C.S. Lewis
While those may just seem like words to some..to me that rip at my heart. I so want God and I to have the same plan. In fact I talk to him daily about just that. He is my son. My first born child. The sweet little boy who made me a mommy. I can not begin to explain just how much I love him . I am so very blessed to be his mother.
So I think for tonight I will just ask each of you for some prayers and good thoughts for Philip Tuesday. He is having a pretty serious and very important procedure done. This procedure is painful and has risk. BUt it has to be done.The simple fact is..Philip is running out of options and that scares me and makes me sad and extremely frustrated. As his mom I so WANT and NEED to help him...anyway I can. And in that department I feel like a complete failure some days.
A few things...
Last Philip medical update...
Looking for a awesome way to support Philip ? Please take a minute to read ..We need at least 36 to place a order...Would you consider helping? If you need more information or are interested in a order..contact me..amyb1569@cfl.rr.com
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8 comments:
I completely understand how you feel. There are many times when I wonder what God's plans are and if they are what I want. I admit to not being able to just "let go & let God". I guess I'm just selfish that way.
You, Philip, and your family are in my thoughts and prayers.
I am praying for you and Phillip today (and always) Amy.
What a beautiful quote from CS Lewis - he has long been one of my favorite authors.
Love you Lady....
and HAPPY BIRTHDAY COLE!!
Sweet friend... all I can think of as I pray for your son - is how great and deep is his Heavenly Father's love for him.
I can see in your words - the amazing love you have for him... and I know that God cries right along with you because He loves Philip that much (and more).
Praying for the procedure to go perfectly and for none of the risks to be a danger to him.
Praying for ZERO complications for him. For rest and restoration for you. For a peace that passes all understanding.
And for however many more t-shirts we need :)
You guys a re definitely in my prayers....That quote is amazing, I love it!
{{{{{{{{{HUGS & PRAYERS}}}}}}}}}}}
That quote really hit home for me too...I have just kept thinking over and over about it after I read it!
Hang in there...you'll make it through :)
You know Amy I was just thinking - God does and did have a plan when he gave you Philip. Philip was a special gift in more ways than you realize. Philip is responsible for you becoming the great mother you have become! You in turn are a gift that God gave Philip.
My prayers are always with you and your family. Just remember God has a plan and it's up to us to put all our fears and hopes in his hands.
Hugs - Cheryl
oh hun I will keep you in my thoughts...just keep swimming.
Amy..you and your family are on my heart and in my prayers always. That is a wonderful quote..and so true.I'm writing it down and going to keep it cuz there are times I need to see it too. I have been praying about Philip's procedure and also praying for you..what you have to deal with is beyond hard..and you are so amazing. God is with you and don't ever stop believing or fighting.God Bless!
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