Medical Update -Philip

I had planned to do this morning ..and all heck broke loose. So I will try to get it done now..

For those who missed the post a few days ago..Philip Update

I am going to be blunt..some days I just hate to update my blog about Philip. It seems that I never come here with Good news. It seems like there is always some crisis ..

Yes I know this is my blog. Yes I blog for myself. But I also still hate to always come here with news like I have tonight...But I know so many of you care about what is happening with Philip. And I also know that you storm Heaven gates for Philip. And Philip needs them ..

With that said.Here is the update..

Things are awful with Philip. There is no easy way to put it. Philip is in a bad place. He is miserable everyday almost all day. He struggles with the simple act of trying to get dressed or take a shower. He is down and frustrated. And I think he is panicked at what the future holds for him. I know without one doubt as long as I have a breathe left in me..I will always take care of anything Philip needs from me. That is something I have always known and felt blessed to be able to have the chance to do for him. But I also find myself worried at what the future holds. I just do not know what is going to happen. And yes it does enter my mind too many days that I have cancer and so need to beat this to be here for a LONG time.

I have complete faith that God knows what the best plan is for Philip. I also know that he will never leave any of us. I just can not help but so so so want him to do what I want him to do. God and I have spoken about this daily. I am pretty sure God knows exactly what I want for Philip.

I am having to hold on to my faith for my soft place to land.

I just can not explain how heartbreaking it is to see my son struggle everyday , all day. I think this has been some of the hardest days this past week. I am just doing what I can do. Pray non stop with full assurance that my prayers are being heard.

For the medical update. We finally got a date for the next procedure. It will be in two weeks. It is something that we know we need to do but I hate that he is having to have it done.

The meds by mouth that have been doubled..are not working anymore. He is staying on them for now because we are wanting to see how his body reacts. He will behaving some testing done next week. The meds are very harsh on the liver and Kidneys. So we need to keep a close watch on his levels.

The insurance company has fought us every step of the way. They drive me crazy ..and I think they enjoy doing it. Ha.

I feel better just sharing all this with each of you. I just can not even begin to tell you how much it means to me to know you are all on Philip's team. Thank you so much.