I am up late tonight....I have felt bad all night and in a lot of pain. I am really hurting . Just a little tired tonight of this incision pain..and knowing it is going to have to be worked on again. I can not help but wonder ..what the heck is going on...and when is it going to be over . Okay..there is my pity party...quick and to the point.
I have been worried all week. With school starting next week..I am wondering how I am going to make sure I am stronger and on top of everything for the kids. I know I can do it...well I know the old Amy could do it. This new Amy I am not too sure about what she can and can not do some days. Seems she lets me down sometimes.
I guess what I am trying to say is ..it is so very important to me that the kids have a good year. Emily is starting Jr High and Reed High School. I want them to not only do well but to thrive this year. I know they are older..and can do for themselves. I just hate feeling so run down and not able to jump up some days to do things or anything.
And of course I have Philip and his medical needs ..and my adorable Little 4 year old man.
Gosh..I just re-read this..I seem to be in a I WANT mood tonight. Yikes.
I know I have said this before..But I am missing the old me. Well ...I am sorta missing the old me.
I miss how I use to feel..full of energy and happy and active. Now I feel ...Bluh..exhausted and some days I wish I could stay in bed and never get up. I am not depressed..Just healing..
I do NOT miss the old me that felt like she knew where her faith was at. I have found such a new relationship with God. There have been days where I felt I had no one who could help me..and I just gave it to him. During these times..I have given God more and more of my heart..and it feels good. Really Good.
So could it be..that in a odd way this could be some type of hidden blessing?
Okay..in a few hours I have to get up. I am going to try some ice and sleep.
It felt great to be able to come here and share my 2 am feelings..what a blessing all of you are.
Post a comment and let me know you came by for a visit..yes even you awesome lurkers..LOL
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10 comments:
How about I move down there and help with the kids....
Wait... then I would have to bring my three little rug rats and I am not sure how much rest you would get!!
Feel better Amy... rest - and pray... it will get better!
Love and hugs to you Amy. And an armful of strength, well being and just feeling good.
I really hope you start feeling better soon.
I pray for you and Philip every night.
I have been a lurker lately, because I don't always have words for you. However - I am reading and still praying.
I appreciate that you always share how you feel even if it's not good. Everyone knows that life isn't all rainbows and butterflies, even as a Christian. Reality is that life is just down right hard sometimes, but we also have the reality of knowing that we have a Heavenly Father holding us and that we can put one foot in front of the other with faith that greater things lie ahead.
I really hate to hear that you're having such a tough time...I can't imagine the pain, although I've had painful surgery I haven't had that kind and every kind is different. I wish you healing and better days as soon as possible. For Phillip also.
My mom and stepdad in Mississippi have you and your family on their prayer list as well.
Hope you got some rest, and the new day finds you well...
I know you and Philip are going through so much right now, Amy, but God is ever faithful...keep on trustin' in HIM! Sending you well wishes, hugs, and prayers!
You know one of my favorite things about you is that you keep it real..you share your ups and downs just like it is in real life..I love that.I so wish I lived closer..I would love to help out or just give you some laughs or a hug..but since I am here I will keep you and your family close to heart and in my prayers. I hope for pain relief and for you to feel better soon!
Don't be so hard on the new Amy... I hear she's a great lady. I'm excited for you that your relationship with God is closer... Great for you. I was up at 2a... praying then, as I am now... we could have talked and prayed together.
You've got so much on your plate- I hope you will pencil in some time to rest up and pamper yourself too, maybe once the kids are back at school...I know, easier said than done...
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