I come to you all tonight and ask you to please pray for Philip. We are taking steps backwards... Things are not going well are NOT going well for him and I just am just heart broken. I have spent hours watching him suffer tonight...actually I have spent years watching him suffer.
Between Seizures and Pain and Severe Headache..it has been a long hard day.
We keep adding meds and pumps and seizures meds and then more meds that lower the seizure meds so we have seizures and add more meds...trying to not be negative here..but it seems like we take one step forward and a bunch back. It is crushing me tonight...really. It is just painful to watch and think about tonight.
He has had all the meds he can take tonight plus some.
I have a call put into the surgeon. Maybe he can up the pain pump..He has done it twice already. Know what nags at my heart....and also makes me angry...we can not figure out how to fix this..
With everything else..19 brain operations, strokes, seizures, loss of right side function and now weakness of left side..why why why and what what and what...Okay..I went there..some days and especially some nights I just can not help it..WHY..and how can we help him.
Please pray for Philip..He is just a kid..my first born son..
Thank You all for being here for me always..I am so blessed by each of you..
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26 comments:
Love you Amy... and Phillip too. I am praying for both of you. Call me anytime.
Oh Amy your story just pierces my heart. As I lay my head on my pillow tonight I will drift to sleep saying prayers for your sweet son.
God bless
~Shawn
Stay strong!! You can do this!! You are the strongest person that I know!! Keep up the good work!!
Kal
Stay strong!! You are the strongest person that I know!! Keep your head up, if you need anything, call me!! I haven't heard from you, but know that I am always thinking about you! May GOD bring your weeks ahead a little easier for you.
KAL
Many prayers for Philip to be pain free, Amy. I am so sorry you are going through this right now.
Amy,
I have followed your story & I am saying a special prayer tonight for Philip & your family. I hope tomorrow is a better day.
~Deena
God...I'm so sorry. I am heartbroken for all of you. I cannot imagine. Praying for Phillip...no one should have to suffer like this.
I am in tears for you and Philip...God I just beg of you to help Amy!!!! PLEASE!!!! I am so sorry...I know you have been in prayer about this and I cannot even imagine a twinge of what you are going through as a Mom...And a Mom who is suffering yourself...I am just in awe, I so want you to get some peace...For you and Philip...You and he will continue to be in my prayers...
I think about you a lot, sending good vibes your way!
Amy and Philip, I am sending prayers for both of you. I know how much you've all gone through.
I'm sending a note to the Western Wall on your behalf. It's a Jewish tradition to place notes in the Wall for special prayers that need G-d's immediate attention.
((((Big hugs))))
Oh Amy I'm so sorry...hopefully the surgeon can do something to help him.
Going to my knees now.
I am praying. And don't beat yourself up for asking WHY sometimes. It's normal. And for the most part, you're normal. :) Love you lady!
Oh hon, I'm praying for Philip. I hope his meds can be adjusted to help him.
((Hugs))
Ahhh...praying for your continued strength Amy. And of course peace for Philip :)
im so sorry to hear you're going through this... my thoughts and prayers are with you and your family....xox... annie
Amy, you know that both you and Phillip are always in my prayers. It breaks my heart to know you both are suffering so much. I pray for relief and peace.
Saying EXTRA prayers for you all! I hope tonight is a better night!
(((HUGS)))
:-( Poor Philip... I am so sorry that he has to continually go thru all this... I not begin to imagine how you feel having to watch him deal with the pain & suffer day after day. I know that you are doing EVERYTHING in your power to try to help him, and that is all you can do... :-/
I just hope that the surgeon will be able to suggest SOMETHING that will help & offer Philip some comfort... As always, I am thinking about you & Philip & your family... :-/
Oh Amy....I have been mia for a lil bit. So sorry to come back and read this. My heart breaks for you all. I will be praying....Praying for His healing hand to blanket your sweet boy! (((HUGS))) and much prayers!
Daphne
Oh my dear Amy ..... I have no words to help you but I definitely can feel your pain. I felt so helpless watching Jeff ride the roller coaster. All I can do is pray for you and Philip. There were some nights I would just collapse on my knees and pray before climbing in bed exhausted.
I pray today was better for Philip and he is feeling better and you were able to get some sleep.
Hugs - Cheryl
Always thinking of all of you ...
Praying now....
Amy - my heart breaks for you just reading this post.
I can only imagine what you are going through.
I keep finding comfort each time you cry out - that HE HEARS YOU AND LOVES YOU ALL! He loves Philip!
He is there wanting to care of you both - and it may not be what you have planned or would like. But don't fight Him Amy, He knows what is best for Philip and you! He loves YOU!
He only gives us His best. There is no mistake with God and He understands how hard each day is, especially days like today!
He understands what you are facing. He knows. Keep running to Him and tell Him to deal with it all because you are DONE! Tell Him no more fighting this - you can't do another moment or day!
Tell Him you are sorry for coming at the end of your rope. That you are going to come all day long and do it! Come AMY! Just as you are! Come broken, tired, frustrated, angry, hurt, confused, lonely, needing a break! Come!
He is right here waiting to rescue you and lift you up on wings like an eagle where you will soar once again in complete joy and peace. Peace that will surpass all understanding. Let go of having control of Philip's health. Fight with Him going first for Philip - not second. Trust His plans - no matter what they are and how hard they may seem to understand - don't try anymore - just put your faith in His love for Philip and you!
I'm here praying over you both now and continue daily!
Father, we need You now. Please, be there for Philip and Amy. Give them rest tonight. Peace tonight. Healing what only You can, Father. Heal what You know needs to be healed and leave what is broken that must remain that way for the best plan for their lives to be lived out ALL FOR YOUR GLORY!. We want to see YOUR GLORY LORD! Please Father, if it be Your will touch Philip and let him be a miracle that blesses and praises Your name forever and ever until he is old taking his last breath. Father, we need You now! Please fight this fight for Amy. Go to her and be a tangible force in her life, her heart, her soul, her body and mind!
We praise You no matter what You do. We know You are the same yesterday, today and will be the same tomorrow. We praise You for that! It is in Your Son's most blessed name JESUS! We pray! AMEN!
I love you Amy!
Jill
Oh dear Amy... you know I pray with and for you and your wonderful family non-stop. My stomach is in turmoil here... just finally catching up on your posts this past week.... Glad your surgeon is special. Good thoughts for you and your path forward... always.
Oh my... I hurt for Philip, you and your family. I had no idea that things have been so hard this week. Prayers for you all -- his healing, his pain, headaches, pressure, seizures, and mobility. Prayers for his mom... I hear she's absolutely wonderful and sure as heck doesn't need this.
(((hugs))) Always!
Thank you for letting us know how we can pray. I ma so sorry he is hurting.
I know I tell you all the time how special you and your family are..well it is so worth repeating you are..and I pray every day for each of you...so sorry things are so rough. Continuing to pray and hope so much for some relief.
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