Question and Answers...Part Seven..

City Girl turned Country Girl asked how all the children react to Philip's medical condition and also mine. Great question. To be honest I am not always sure how to answer that. Kids can be hard to read sometimes...

Philip...is very sweet about my medical conditions. He is always the one who will come in and ask if I am okay and how everything is. He seems very over protective of me and I know he worries.

Reed...He will never say one word about me or Philip. In fact if I did not know better I would think he seriously does not know there is any issues. But the truth is he is very quite about his feelings and always has been. He is skirmish about blood, bandages, throwing up and or pain and crying. Because of this I always make sure we talk about it every once in a while. As I have said before he is my most sensitive child and I love his sweet "if I ignore this" it will go away attitude. How I wish that were true.

Emily...Oh sweet Emily. She worries and worries and worries. She is the one who know matter what I need done she will do it. She wants to sit in the waiting room for all my operations. She has gone and stayed at the Ronald McDonald House for long periods of time to be close to Philip when he was in the hospital for weeks at a time.

Cole...He is the best medicine for me and Philip. He can make us smile on our worse days.

I think as a family unit we all handle our feelings different. Not always pretty.. But the truth is we just handle it.

My long time friend Sandy asked me two questions..How did the computer get wet on Philip's make A Wish Trip To Hawaii...

Humm...well I was driving because Jim hated driving there with the one way streets. I happen to end up on a one way street and all of the sudden had to make a quick u-turn in the rental van ..seems Emily did not know when to hold on to that drink and it went flying forward all over the van floor. where the lap top happen to be laying. When I took it to the geek squad my special friend Mike worked forever to get my pictures off the hard drive for me..even though there was dried sugar crystals on there from the soda..YUCK.


Second question was...what is my biggest fear...Hard question. I think my biggest fear is just not doing enough the right way. I so want to be a good mom, a good wife, a good friend and a good person. Lately i feel like I come up short on each of these areas. I know most of us do feel that way..but I really feel that way in a serious way. I never want my children's childhood to be filled with thoughts of..well it was okay but my mom was sick and we could not do such and such...or it was okay but we could not afford to go to here or there because of medical bills.

And last but so very important. I worry about not being strong enough to beat this illness and leave my family. I love my children more then I ever thought possible. I so want to be here each and everyday.

And of course it goes without saying...I fear not being a person who lives of to the Christan standards I want..I am so working on my relationship with God. Without him I would have so much more to fear.