I have a lot of things I want to update concerning Philip's appt yesterday and today. I am sure you will all understand if I wait till tomorrow to post the update.
I am not feeling too good tonight. I just have not rebounded this week from last weeks treatment. I have felt exhausted and sick all week. I think everything is just catching up with me. Tomorrow is Thursday which is treatment day. So I am going to try to take some nausea meds tonight and get some rest.
In truth I also need time to adjust to some of the news . I feel like I am a tad "off". About the time I think I have come to terms with some of the decisions and issues..I let myself think too much about it..or I realise something I did not think about..and all of the sudden I feel far from a place I would call ..acceptance. Baby steps...I guess.
Today has been a day that has proven to me once again that I can not get through all this alone. I am going to cling to my faith and hold on tight. Because I do not want to feel bitter or angry or sad. I want to feel faith , love and some peace.
I wanted to share something so sweet with each of you. Many of you know that Philip ( aka Duppy to Cole ) and Cole are so very close..it just makes me melt. Today I did not have anyone to watch Cole for a DR appt Philip had. So when he woke up I asked him if he wanted to go and take Philip to the DR. He said with a big smile. Yes I do. I will hold his hand and make sure he is okay. And let me share he stayed right by Philip's side. In fact when the DR came in to exam Philip..he said Cole..let me see Philip's hand for a second and then you can have it back. Melts my heart. Gosh I love their relationship. So sweet and so innocent.
I wanted to share a few cute pictures I snapped with my phone. How sweet that Cole loves Philip so much and wants to take such good care of him. I know this operation will be hard for Cole to understand. We have been talking about it some to prepare him...but Cole thinks his kisses will fix Philip. Oh how I wish that were true.