If you are new to my blog ..
Take a minute to read from the start of Philip's story. I hope you will enjoy watching what miracle God has shown in Philip's life before he was even born.
One thing that has surprised me while doing these blog stories in the things I had forgotten and the things I had not . It is funny how the mind works. I guess a lot of it is what I would call protective mode. But sometimes that can be a bad thing. When you depend too much on that and then something happens..it can hurt even worse.
I had a bitter sweet moment last week . I had my computer open and Jim my DH was reading my blog. All of the sudden he got this look on his face and he got choked up. He said..I had forgotten these few weeks when Philip was not sick and he shut the computer. Jim looked really sad. It surprised me that he was sad reading it vs happy. But then the more I thought about it. I do not think he was sad...I think it is just hard to see where we were and how thing were and could of been for Philip..and how hard they are right now. It is a part of his life that is bitter sweet. I miss those days....but I am sure glad we have these days with Philip. As I say daily. We are so very blessed.
Earlier in this post I said how it was odd about remember things. I can remember the first time Philip got sick. He threw up on my birthday. We were all dressed and ready to go . He got really sick and no matter what I did he could not keep any of his breast milk down that night.
I can remember it was a really rough night and he was just really not happy.
Thinking back it makes me sad to think he was in pain and I did not know it. I did call the DR like all new moms do and they gave me the pep talk that they give all new moms.
This is a night that really stands out in my mind. This night I stayed at my friend Jills's House. We both had babies the same age . Our DH went night fishing and we decided to do a sleep over. Jill may not remember this but Philip threw up again and was up crying for hours that night. Jill rocked him for hrs so I could sleep. Something that stands out in my mind is..she spent forever trying different blankets to wrap him in. She thought maybe if he was swaddled he would feel better. For some reason this many years later that sticks in my mind..that something was so wrong and all I thought was ...a swaddle would fix it.
The next day I took Philip to the pediatrician and explained to him what was going on. I was told Philip has a virus and to try to give him some pedilite and some gas drops. I left the Dr office feeling sort of like a bad mom because here was my 2 week old baby who was already sick. We moms blame ourselves, don't we.
So as the days went on Philip continued to get worse and no matter what I did he did not get well. Off to the DR we went and this time I was told he still had a virus but he also had reflux. So I was told the things to do to help with that. I did made sure I did each of them.
Two days later I took Cole to Sears to look for Jim his first Fathers Day Gift. Philip threw up the whole time and screamed the whole time we were gone. The thing that was odd to me was..it was not a unhappy spoiled baby cry it was a high pictched screaming cry. I left in tears and went home.
A moment I will never forget. I had Philip laying on my bed and I was putting away clean laundry. All of the sudden he started to scream and his stomache did that heaving it does when you know they are going to throw up..and without thinking I moved to the side and he prtojectle throw up so hard it hit the wall across the room.
That minute I became a new mom. I called the DR and said Philip is sick. He started to tell me this and that. He said I can see him on Monday. I said NO. I said He is really sick and either you will see him now or I will find a new DR. He said take him to the ER and I will have him checked out. And then he said but you know babies spit up ...
My next entry will start the hospital post...