The last few days I have been really thinking about life. Not the everyday living we all do but the real idea of the LIFE we live. Some of us live long some of us not. Some of us are moms and a grandmama. Some are a wife or sisters a daughter etc. But I wonder if these are the things that really make up what OUR lives are all about.
I can not help but wonder who I would be or what my life would be if God had not been so generous to bless me to care for my oldest son Philip . Would I be who I am today? I doubt it. And that in itself is some good that came from this hard issue. I found out that life can throw us a hard ball and we can catch it and run with it or let it smack us in the face. Trust me I have done both. In the end being smacked in the face with it HURTS worse. Ya know?
This week there was a lady at the oncologist office who was thin as a rail and very old. Her DH was with her holding her hand helping her make all kinds of appointments. I noticed when they went to give her her shot to boost her blood counts her arm was so thin and her skin paper thin...and yet she looked up and smiled . Wow. I would love to of asked her to help me find whatever she has in her that helped her be able to smile through all that. But thinking back on that now...I bet you it was life lessons. I want to be just like her....
Then today there was a lady at the store who could not find her car. She was older and confused a little. When we found what we thought was her car...she said that is good cause I was about to steal one. I just love that sense of humor. I bet she has leaned on that through the years.
Something that has so touched my heart this week is some special little children. I have followed some children daily for well over two years . Some get better some and too often some do not. I have met a few moms that I know GET it when I need them to GET it that I am hurting and worried or freaking. It is a unspoken vibe. And it has allowed me to help a few moms who children are facing shunts. One mom name Melissa has been so supportive to me with Philip and yet we meet because I emailed her when her son Reese was facing a shunt. Sure enough Reese got one and shortly afterward Philip's was infected and we spent almost a month in ICU. She was the first person to email me. I have watched her grow with the idea of Reese having medical issues and dealing with the physical and mental worries. A example of Life lesson. She could of thrown a fit but she did not. She embraces it.
This week has been a hard week for so many children I follow. Each morning and every night I log on to check on them. Everyday this week there has been a unexpected death of a child fighting hard to live. I can not begin to tell you how sad that makes me . I can not imagine the grief their parents are feeling. But something touched me and made me think of this whole life lessons.
A little boy name Kassey last night told his mom he was sorry he really thought he might die. His mom had a very honest talk with him in the dark of the night and they fell asleep. Sweet Kassey who had been more brave then anyone I know...at the young age of 11 died this morning. Looking back over the post about Kassey...I wonder how someone so young can be so brave and so strong. Life lessons.
I need to work on my life lessons. I wonder if I am embracing my life lessons or fighting them? I just can not wrap my mind around the whole this is meant to be....am I missing something? Is my vibe causing some issues for me? I want to be one of these who embraces life and takes it for all it is worth...but I am worn out. Am I worn out cause I am not embracing it?
Just me thinking out loud...