It is 2:30 am and Philip just came in hurting and having more of the same issues last night. He has had a lot of medication today including his seizures medications and some additional medication tonight to help him rest. It is not going to work...and here I am his mom at 2 am and can do NOTHING else to help.
You know..I would do anything to help him. I love that young man more then anything in this world. While he has truly been blessed to be alive today..he sure has had a rough time of it. I just so need to find a way to help him physically and emotionally. I mean he is just a kid...and he has been doing this so very long.
I never in my worse dreams would of thought this mean years later..here we would be....not better and ever worse...I am so thankful I did not know what was going to happen. I swear I think it would of ruined all of us. At least we had hope that everything would be okay. And I know tomorrow I will work on having that hope again. But tonight I am a worn out mom who is sick from her treatment and tired of not being able to do what a mom wants and needs to do..take her sons hurt away..
Tomorrow will be better.It just has to be..
Once again..Thanks for letting me have a sounding board. This is my biggest blessing on the harder days.