So the other night I shared some feelings in my blog. As always I am blown away with the support and comments. Have I mentioned that each of you have helped me more then you know. I feel such peace when I read your comments. One wonderful thing is I know when I am feeling weak or worried...I KNOW that many of you are praying for me . What more could I wish for. Thank You.
With that being said...I want to clarify something. If my post came across as I was worried what people think when I blog, then I did not explain my feelings clearly. I know that many of not all of you want me to share how I am feeling. I also know none of you expect me to feel or act a certain way. My issue is ME. I have this idea in my head of how I am suppose to feel or act or express myself. In the past I have read blogs such as sweet Stellan 's mama and think wow..what faith she has. I want that faith also. Heck I want to go live with her and talk faith and trust with her everyday. That could be hard she does not even know who I am...lol. I want to be able to come here and say that I KNOW and FEEL a certain way. So see my friends...it is not my fear of any of you judging me...I am judging myself.
I want to be strong and sure and filled with this certain peace daily. But in reality I do not feel that way always. And yes I know no one does. My problem is..on the days I am feeling so positive I do not have that deep desire to blog at 2 am. My 2 am post come in the times that I am feeling a tad less then sure or positive or strong. So maybe that is why it may of come across that I thought YOU all expected me to say certain things in the blog..or be happy go lucky.
Is any of this making sense? Hummm
Before I ramble on anymore...I will say this.
I know this is my blog and I can cry in it if I want to. I know I can come and vent and worry and share. I know that anyone who has judged me or would is not someone I should even concern myself with. But I think I am the one who is judging me. Maybe I should end this post with a question ....
Why are we harder on ourselves then we would ever be with others?