Thursday, January 1, 2009

Been Struggling...We Have A Deal , Right?

Our deal was....No Token Answers Just the Truth. I guess I need to learn that for my blog also, huh?
I LOVE my blog. It has been such a blessing for me. When I started my blog I wanted to have a place to just "talk" and "share" everyday goodies. In fact I sorta wanted a place separate from Philip's CB site. Just a easy going day to day blog. I even worried that no one would want to read it cause it would be boring.
Well as we know life has a way with us some days. I swear I think God laughs when we mortals make plans. He shows us daily that WE are NOT in charge. Okay God I get it. Really I do. Ha
When Philip started having such scary new issues with his left side I decided that there was really no way I could separate my life into two sections. I mean one part Philip's medical issues AKA the CB site and then my everyday odd and ends AKA my blog. Life is a mixture of the good and the bad and the happy and well the sad. So that is what my blog became. A blog about my Life. How ironic my blog name...I sure did not know the how true the title of my blog would become. I have always known Life is a blessing. But I now am trying to LIVE my LIFE....and remember that Life is such a Blessing.
Okay I know I am rambling...let me get back on track.
So as I said my original idea of my blog has not happened. My real FULL life is out here. And for me it is a blessing. I am not sure what it is for all of you. These past few days have been rough. I have found myself not wanting to or thinking I should post this or that cause I wanted to post some wonderful message. But I have not had it in me. In fact I could not even fake one.
Last night I wanted to come up with some well worded end of the year looking forward to this new year post. But in truth all I could do is cry.
So I guess what I am trying to say is..I know you all care and want to know what is going on. I guess I just wish I had some great news and some great attitude for my blog right now. I just feel like my blog could read like a pity party if I were to post . Yet I miss my blog.
I am trying to explain how I feel and the hard thing is I am not sure how I feel. So...maybe you guys can figure it out and let me know.
Until then...How about I work on a medical update post for later today. While it may not be all sweet and pretty...it is reality...or should I say LIFE.

24 comments:

annie kelleher said...

illness is a not a pretty part of life but it is a part of life. you dont have to pretend to be anything here. whats wonderful about blogging is you can be yourself. even the not so pretty parts. thats how we comfort each other, and we know we're not alone. happy new year ... may this new year be one of healing in all its forms.

Michelle Sybert said...

That's one of the most real posts I've read on a blog in a long time! Thanks for your honesty!

JANE said...

OK, when you start worrying about what you think you should be writing to entertain your readers, it turns from being your blog to your readers blog. And that's not what it should be about. It's YOUR blog, about YOU, how you are feeling, what you are thinking, what you are doing. It's not about us and what you think we want to read, because in reality, we want to read about YOU! And the only way for us to read about YOU is for you to write about YOU!!I hope that makes sense? So when you start to write, forget us and write just for YOU!!

Melissa said...

I split my blogs when I started to deal with my larger health issues. What I found like you is that it's all part of my life. I closed up shop at my second blog and lay it all out on my first. Commenters can take what they need and leave the rest.

As for me, you don't need to be happy, upbeat or cheerful if your not...I did my fair share of crying yesterday, too.

Be kind to yourself...your going through a lot. Happy New Year!

Shannon said...

I love how you keep it real. Your blog is about life and I'm encouraged by you so much. Still praying lots!

April said...

Hi Amy,

I know you are struggling with many issues right now, but let me remind you...you ARE NOT alone! Many of us know you only through "Blogland", but we care deeply about what's going on in your world. So, surround yourself in our prayers and be as real as you need to be. We're here for you, my friend!

Denise said...

You need to be real and be you, pity party or not. Besides, you have a Get Out of Jail Free card for pity right now. There's a lot on your plate.

I'm a new reader from your SITS announcement so I don't know you from before all of this. I know I'm not here to come and have you give me sermons on ... whatever. I'm here to hear how you are REALLY doing (if you choose to share that) and to offer YOU encouragement and support. Please don't feel a need to "entertain" all of us.

May God bless you and your family this new year!

bluesuede said...

Good or bad, I'm still here ...

Amy Fichtner said...

Awww Amy, You should be afriand to post your feelings. We are all here for you and we WANT to share your life with you. You are in my thoughts and prayers daily!!

He And Me + 3 said...

Amy,

I love your honesty and I love how you post your heart. We are here for you.
Praying for a wonderful & blessed2009.

ixtapacheryl said...

Amy it's ok to have a "boo hoo" day - and my husband has had his share going through his brain cancer. Everyday will bring different emotions - that is so natural.

It is very important to share those feelings/emotions with your dear husband. I would get down when I never knew what Jeff was thinking. Tonight was the first evening in 10 months when he told me he was starting to feel human again. I just hang on every word he says. Now this doesn't mean he will feel that way tomorrow but I can go to bed tonight feeling like we are making headway.

I truly feel that being "just you" while you travel through this phase in your life is therapeutic.

Amy you are educating all your friends who come here daily to read your blog and we love you for it.

Remember - "pray, hope, and don't worry"!!!

Jennifer L said...

Oh honey honey honey, even the fact that you had hesitations about posting that post is so upsetting. There isn't much else us bloggers out here can do but be here as a shoulder to lean on and an ear to talk to, so you just say whatever you need to. Like in a previous comment, people can take what they want and leave what they want. You are having such a hard time, I cannot even imagine. I hope it helps that there are people out here who care and read this blog for its rawness and truthfullness. You are an inspiration to me just in that you have the energy to even click the power button on in the morning. Again...you ARE an inspiration, and your truthfullness makes you real.

Christy said...

Be real hon. The reality is, life's not always sunshine and roses. As you said, you can't seperate your life either. Do you want the blog to be a place that's a positive upbeat place...if so ok, but then it's coming to an acceptance that there will be times where you just can't come here. Do you want it to be a safe place where you can pour your heart out, and at the same time find joy, peace, comfort, friendship, but most of all how God's working through all of it...then make it that!

This is your place and it's not about what others want it to be, and often times it's not even what we thought it was going to be. You know so well that so often God has bigger plans than what we could ever have, we just have to follow and be obedient.

I'm praying for you and your family.

Gran to Angels said...

Just be you....'cos that is enough!
I made coconut bark today and thought of you......
Love ya Amy!

Lori said...

you know what...any post from you is a good post...you are such a fighter and inspiration...keep living life girl!

Tink said...

Illness sucks. Life is all about those ups and downs and curves we aren't ready for and I'm sorry you're going through some downs at the moment. My son has a mental illness--it's life long--and I sometimes wonder "why me?" "why him?" and so forth. But there are amazing people out there, like you, who help us pull through and cope with the things life throws our way. God bless you!

ixtapacheryl said...

Dear Amy: A friend of mine sent me this You-Tube video. This woman is great and worth watching. After viewing she has a few more to watch (look to the right to select). I've never heard of her before - but she sure brought some happy tears to my eyes. She does it with humor and great insight!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=u_4qwVLqt9Q

Anonymous said...

hi amy,
you are a wonderfully gifted mother and wife. your struggles are dealt with as well as humanly possible! i think of you and philip often. blessings for a pain free new year.
cb/marianne

Charmaine said...

The others have all said it so eloquently...be true to yourself. Be who you are at the time, some days it will be sad, some days it will be afraid, some days it will be funny and other times it will be thankful, but it will be you. We love you for who and what you are, not what you think we want you to be...that is what makes you so very special, being brave enough to be truthfully you.

deal of the day said...

well i agree illness is just part of life.

Anonymous said...

Hi! I do not know what made me click on your blog, from He & Me and I do not even have a blog! I am not sure what your illness is because this is my first time here. But there is a wonderful Nutrional beverage out there that could help you, it is called "MONAVIE" We call it God's juice! Go to www.monavie.com and get all the info. on it! I could even ship you a case.... my email is rcacicedo1996@wowway.com All my blessings to you and your family.

Grand Pooba said...

Very nice to read a very truthful post!

2BIG said...

WOW you are worried about if it is okay with us readers how and what you do with your blog?
DO any thing you need to to help you. if it needs to be all pictures of your adorable kids then do that if it nneds to be technical and meical do that. Just be you and do whatever you want. Nobody is going to call a foul on you while you are down and posting.

misty said...

Amy,I've told you before, that is one of the qualities that led me to reach out to you in the first place. Your honesty and being you.I love the way you speak from your heart.I know you don't see it this way, but you are so inspiring. Try not to be so tough on yourself, you are going through so much right now.Remember, I'm here for you, yep your stuck with me!Hugs, girl!