Wednesday, November 5, 2008

What We Call Miracle Day


When I look at this picture I get such a mix of emotions. For those who are new to the who and what and why. I would love to take this chance to share a little bit about the sweet boy in this picture Philip and how blessed I am everyday to be his mother.

This picture was taken the day before his "Miracle Day". When my first son Philip was born I knew that I had to be the most blessed women in the world, and sure enough I am. After three Miscarriages I just feared in my heart I would never be a mommy. God blessed me with a baby who we named Philip James. The very first time I saw him I just KNEW God handpicked Philip to be my son.

A few weeks after Philip was born he became very sick . We spent weeks trying to find out what was wrong with him. After being airlifted to a out of town hospital it was found that Philip had a mass in his brain. Philip had his first brain operation at six weeks old. While I felt a little worn as a mother, I felt blessed that we had put this behind us and could now enjoy being a new family. Or so we thought.

Philip's brain mass came back and at the age of six months it was decided that the only choice we had was to have another brain operation on Philip and this time not only try to remove the mass but to place a shunt. While we were scared we felt somewhat prepared having been through it before. This operation was nothing like the earlier one.

Philip celebrated his first Halloween at Arnold Palmer Hospital dressed in a cute pumpkin diaper cover. Philip hooked up to a IV pole got to go to his first party to see the older kids dressed up on the floor. And something that I always remember. If you look close in this picture, Philip had his first Popsicle on his first Halloween , hours before our lives would change forever.

The next morning we handed our sweet son to the surgeons and trusted like before that after a few weeks in ICU on the vent and some time on the peds floor. We would put this behind us and move on being a "normal" family.

After five hours in the operating room the nurse called to tell us that things got tricky. I think back to what I must of thought when she said that. I have a feeling I was not as aggressive with the questions as I would be today. Us moms of children with medicals issues learn fast to speak up and demand answers.

After thirteen hours Philip's team of doctors came out and told us....we just do not think he will live through the night. The DR said it was like cutting through a jungle and he just could not be sure what he cut through. If he does he will not wake up and decisions will need to be made. There was more...and I admit that after hearing the first part I probably did not listen too closely.

For months and months we lived in ICU. I lived in the waiting room with two chairs pulled together , scared to leave him in case something bad happened. Philip was blind for 17 days after his operation and we waited in a MRI room waiting to see if they had cut through his optical nerves. Thank God they had not and it was severe swelling. After being weened off the vent Philip had to learn to nurse again due to suffering a stroke on his right side. The list goes on and on. And in truth the list is still going on.

The idea behind this post is simple. The picture above was taken the day before our lives changed forever. But that picture does not make me sad. Okay ...it does some days. But most days it makes me smile. Wanna know why?

The picture above was taken the day we were blessed with our Miracle. Philip's life. Philip lived and he still lives.

I often say I wish I had known ....if I only knew what was going to happen. Thank you God for not letting me know. Thank you for allowing me to have that first Halloween with Philip and watch him have his first Popsicle. Thank You God for sparing me the knowledge that here we are years later dealing with almost 20 brain operations, 2 shunts, stroke, over 25 painful orthopedic operations, seizures and the recurrences of the brain mass. If I had known all that in advanced I might of missed enjoying the sweet simple things worrying about all the big scary things.

So due to my surgery I missed being able to post about our special day ....we call Miracle Day..every Nov 1st. Philip lived and he still does. Thank you God for blessing us.

37 comments:

Heather said...

Amy,
Those of us with children who face these serious health issues understand how blessed the days are when we look at our children and simply see their smiling faces. You have such a strong will and your children have that as well. You are an incredible woman whom I deeply admire. May Phillip always know what an amazing mom he has.
Heather

Lisa said...

I read about his story earlier on in the day on Caring Bridge and was very touched. I will be sure to keep him and you in my prayers at all times. You are truly blessed and so is he to have such a wonderful Mom in you!!

Davisix said...

OK Girl! I have MAJOR goosebumps. What a powerful post! I am SO SO SO glad you stopped by my blog. I can't wait to read your other posts. God speed! Ang

Rae said...

Oh gracious, Amy! What a miracle, what a blessing, what a journey! Thank you for sharing this story. I feel so blessed to have read it!

I LOVE your blog design! It is absolutely fabulous!!!

I use the A.C. Moore 50% off coupons in their store. I'm not sure if they are good online or not. Sorry about the Thomas link!! I know what it's like when the kids see something on the computer and they just have to see it!!!

So glad to meet you! Hugs!!!!

Pretty Organizer said...

Amy, I just read your comment on my blog. I'm so glad that you like the idea. Thank you also for being willing to post it on your blog. Blogging is completely new to me too... only have 2 weeks under my belt. It takes me waaaaay to long to post. I'm hoping to streamline things. Too much time away from my 6 kids puts our home at terrible risk of burning down! Good luck in the contest!

Aimie said...

Oh my gosh! That was the most beautiful post!
Happy Miracle Day!
What a wonderful mother you are to put such a loving spin on such a challenging situation. God bless you!
:)

Anna Lefler said...

Oh, heavens, what an amazing post. I am so moved by your experience and I am sending the best possible thoughts and prayers your way.

Take care and Merry Christmas...

:^) Anna

Jamie said...

Beautiful post. Phillip seems like an amazing young man.

The Rambler said...

As a mother we do any and all that we can to protect our child, we silently pray they will never know pain, and we gain a strength for them that knows no bounds. Your son is blessed to have such a wonderful person as you've so beautifully written how blessed you are to have him.

Congrats on your miracle day and sending you my prayers and love for you and your family. Visiting you from SITS :)

mommytoalot said...

Wow, a miracle indeed.
xo

Kimmie0270 said...

Happy Miracle day Sitsta. I wish you continued blessings and more miracles

K said...

Your son is lucky to have you as his mother.

I have a 20 month old and I have been lucky to not face anything worse than a broken leg and a helmet (to correct a realy severe flat spot).

I can only imagine what you have been through.

Good luck and happy miracle day.

Kelly Deneen said...

What an amazing post. You are such a wonderful and strong mother and woman.

jubilee said...

Happy Miracle Day! My thoughts and prayers are with you.

Katy Lin :) said...

i am so amazed and encouraged by your strength and faith and courage. thank you so much for sharing your heart with us!

The Fishers said...

Over from SITs. I think as mothers, we would go to hell and back to protect our children. Thank you for your inspiration and outlook on life. I will keep you, Phillip, and your family in my prayers. Merry Christmas!

Brandy said...

Your story is very touching and the fact that you can remain so positive is a lesson to us all. We should appreciate the good things and don't sweat the small stuff.

Preston said...

All I can say is, "Wow. You are one amazing mommy and that is one lucky kid." Here's to 90 more November firsts!

Coffee with Cathy said...

Amy, Thank you for opening your heart and sharing with us such a powerful story.

Bas, Katie and Luna de Laat said...

What wonderful perspective.

jori-o said...

You are an inspiration. You may roll your eyes and shrug it off like many other fabulous women do, but it doesn't make it any less true. I'm honored to get to know you! =)

Vickie said...

What a wonderful post. Such indpiration.

I just hugged my children closer.

cornnut32 said...

god did handpick that beautiful baby for you...but more importantly he, he handpicked you to be that baby's mother. it is obvious to me that god knows what a strong woman you are. very, very few women can deal with something so difficult. you are inspiring to all mothers.

Laura said...

Thank you for sharing this beautiful story. Philip must be one amazing child of God. What a challenging trial and a blessing beyond measure.

Aleta said...

God gave Phillip a miracle in his Mom. You are a beautiful woman for all you have gone through. *hugs*

Marrdy said...

Her truly is a blessing. What a wonderful gift God has given you to be the mother of such a child. Your strength amazes me.

Maven said...

Miracle day - how wonderful! Thankyou for sharing this beautiful post. I can only imagine how wrenching it must have been for you at the time.

Michele said...

You and your family have been through so very much. Much love and blessings sent you way!

. said...

What a beautiful post!

Rhea said...

You really have been through a lot. It's amazing and inspiring.

Joy said...

'If I had known all that in advanced I might of missed enjoying the sweet simple things worrying about all the big scary things.'
----------------------
I am in awe of your maturity and wisdom. Truly.

Ronnica said...

Praise God that He allowed your son to live and that He still allows him to live. I suppose we should thank God for allowing each of us to live to see another day, shouldn't we?

jennykate77 said...

Hi, Amy! I'm over here from SITs and just wanted to say what an inspiration you are. I am always amazed at how God works and I can truly see his hand in your life. You definitely are blessed! I'll be praying for you and Phillip.

♥hugs♥

ALVN of WhisperWood Cottage said...

Beautifully written! So much love!

Amy

Michelle said...

Wow. Ok, so I've probably said that part already. There are things that moms learn that they soooo shouldn't have to. And yet somehow we do. I haven't been anywhere near the position you have, but reading it tugs at my heartstrings. I am so happy for you that you have your Miracle Day. And I hope you have many more!

Elle MD said...

You are a very strong woman. I think God is giving you a bit of 'down time' right now so that YOU can rest. Trust Him that your husband and your kids will be just fine. Use this time to breathe deeply and talk with God. He loves that!

- Leslie

Finding Normal said...

What a beautiful post. I often tell myself that God gives me things exactly when He knows I can handle them. I'm glad not to know what we'll face in the years to come because I'm sure the list will be as overwhelming as just the past 2 years have been with my special needs girl. But the blessings are overwhelming too.